I Think. Therefore I Drink. Therefore. I have a Job.

This is a blog about nothing in particular. I had a blog (a xanga) when I was a teen and though when I read it now it's rather wretched (I would like to delete it but I cant...because I made it with a fake AOL email address) it offers a hilarious insight into who I was at 15 and 16...the majority of who I still am today minus the obsession with quoting Wedding Crashers and the unneccessary use of emoticons (which I now scorn with a passion and only use when being ironic ;)

I just graduated from THE best school in the universe and am very fortunate to be employed at a company with whom I share a common interest. But even though I'm in my 20s (ew!) I still desperately hope that one day I will open up my closet door and get transported on a magical adventure to a faraway place not even on Google maps, learn how to ride a horse, fight in a battle or two, destroy the One Ring, vanquish Lord Voldemort, master the Force, fly past that second star on the right, all whilst sporadically breaking out into various choreographed song and dance routines.

I really dont like scary movies or overly zealous evil villains becase they often creep their way into my dreams and RUIN them. Whenever I really psyche myself out (which happens a lot because I have a really powerful imaginaton...even on my off days) and am 98% positive that the aliens from Signs are hiding in my shower or that my apartment building is haunted by disgruntled spice traders from the 1800s or that I forgot to lock my door and the scary government workers in white suits from E.T. are definitely waiting to grab me from around the corner...I always find comfort in the fact that even if that scary, outlandish villain from my nightmares existed and did really come to take me from this life I would only be 93% really scared because the other 7% of me would be excited to know that the extraordinary isn't so out of the ordinary...or even better, that I am a part of the extraordinary. Thus thwarting their dastardly plan for me (at least partially). Therefore, as in all great stories, good (me) triumphs over evil (aliens, malevolent ghosts, and misdirected government employees).

I have another theory I apply to most things that scare me. For everything I am afraid of I try to think of their benevolent counterpart. Not all aliens want to blow up the earth...some just want to go home. Most ghosts are just misunderstood (thank you Haley Joel Osment and Bruce Willis...and M. Night Shamylan). Captain Hook and other angry pirates are mostly funny...and probably just need a good drink (am I right Capn' Morgan...and Jack Sparrow). The evil witch in Snow White is scary as hell but I don't eat apples so I think I'm okay on that front. I had a little trouble with Lord Voldemort at first but Deathly Hallows showed us that Voldy's one true weakness is his inability to understand the power of love where as my one true strength is my great ability to understand the power of love (thank you Jesus and Celine Dion). And also as alluded to above...if Lord Voldemort came leering around the corner tomorrow to Avada Kedavra me to a metaphorical Kings Cross I would have two dying thoughts...the first, YES, I knew the Wizarding World existed....and second, WHY THE F did I not receive a letter from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And then just before I could come to the conclusion that my letter DID (just as I have always suspected) get lost in that god damned muggle mail service...I would be dead.

I'm also afraid of the Devil...specifically from the Bible...as portrayed in The Passion of the Christ and Dante's Inferno. That one I'm still working on...but I generally try to live by my Grandmother's advice, "Be good to each other...and don't fall in with evil companions."