Airplane Observations

I've been doing a lot of flying around recently due to work, Notre Dame games, and holidays. As a result I have made some personal observations.

Personal Observations:

1) People Watching

It is common knowledge that the airport is hands down the best people watching place in the world. On one of my recent trips I spotted the oft whispered about but rarely seen...hipster* dad. Imagine, a slightly bearded, six foot two-ish, brooding sort of gentleman, adorned in his faithful flannel, with a messenger bag bought at a military surplus store artfully draped 'cross his shoulders. But this hipster is different than most for gripped in his hand is not a well worn copy of Jack Kerouac's The Road but the tiny hand of his three year old protégé...wearing Ray-Bans (Wayfarers). Not all people watching expeditions are as joyous, to get to something as inspiring as the hipster dad many episodes of the 6 year old tantrum, the very loud business man/lady talking on their bluetooth (dumb), the person sitting too close to you in the terminal with the really wretched cough (please note that I am aware that sometimes I am the one with the wretched cough so I tend to give people with colds a break...but it doesn't mean its an enjoyable experience), and finally "that guy" who is SO aggravated that the flight is delayed that he can't even talk, he can only make those grunting grunts and sighing sighs, because it's SO much more inconvenient for him than everyone else. But it's moments like the old couple holding hands, the "love actually terminal" scenes, the military guys getting handshakes from 5 year olds, and the hipster dad moments that make it all worth while.

Now because I am such an avid people watcher I realize that I too may one day fall under the equally as avid (if not more so) gaze of a contemporary. Which is why I always buy a copy of the New York Times...and stick my gossip rag betwixt it's pages ;)

*this observation is based upon my own definition of a hipster

2) Airport Security

In many airports these days security lines have been sectioned off according to your traveling "style." What many of you may not know is that this new sectioning is referred to by TSA as the BLACK DIAMOND SELF SELECT LANES. The green lanes are for families, the blue lanes are for "casual travelers," and the black lanes for the EXPERT TRAVELER. After my freshman year at ND I earned my stripes (or diamonds for those in the "know") and have been an Expert Traveler ever since. That scene in Up In the Air where George Clooney gives his schpeel about efficient traveling...that's my jam. And there is absolutely NOTHING more aggravating than a casual traveler (a loser) straying into the expert traveler (a winner) lane. Because inevitably the casual traveler is traveling with his other casual friends, lolly-gagging their way through the security check point, taking out their ID when they get to the agent instead of having it ready 4 people back, complaining about having to take their shoes off (it's your fault you didnt wear socks!) and forgetting to remove their belt when they go through the metal detector. Don't even get me started on the liquids situations. So there I stand, fuming, with my boots and tiny bag of 3 oz (or smaller) liquids in one hand and my laptop in the other, watching these bafoons fumble through security. But one of the rules of being an expert traveler is always keep your cool (it's in the handbook...that I'm writing), so I fume and I stew and I shoot lasers out my eyes at the casual travelers and give a knowing nod of my head to the TSA agents shaking their heads at the x-ray machine because Casual Traveler Z thought it'd be cool if he just shoved his 3/4 full bottle of Dasani into his backpack because god forbid he waste that $1.50 and drink out of the water fountain or even worse wait 45 minutes and get all the GD water he wants from the in-flight beverage service. Needless to say...don't mess with me when it comes to security.

3) Airport Dining

I LOVE AIRPORT FOOD. I love getting to the airport with enough time to grab a treat to enjoy while I read the entertainment section of the NYT (I can abbreviate it because I buy it so much). I get more anxious about not having enough time to eat than I do about missing my flight. The worst is when you have a layover that's only enough time for you to get from gate to gate. But while you go from "gate to gate" you pass the BEST food spots. And then you spend that entire flight thinking about all the wonders you are missing. What constitutes great airport dining? Not sit down restaurants...if I have time to sit down and order at a menu I start to get antsy...I'm talkin 30 minutes before pre-board kinda dining. This includes but is not limited to...all bagel shoppes, Dunkin Donuts (egg n' cheese croissant), Auntie Anne's (so far seen at BWI and DWF), TCBY, that city's food specialty (aka Gold Star Chili Cheese Fries), Nuts on Clark, Potbelly's, and Johnny Rockets Milkshakes.

Here shall follow a list of airports with excellent dining options (in no particular order):

Chicago-Midway (MDW)

Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky (CVG)

Denver (DEN)

Detroit (DTW)

Dallas/Fort Worth (DFW)

Charlotte (CLT)

Airports with mediocre dining options that I expect to get better with time and renovation:

Atlanta (ATL)

Raleigh (RDU)

Westchester County Airport aka White Plains (HPN)

Boston-Logan (BOS)

Orlando (MCO)

Airports with absolutely horrendous dining options (in order):

South Bend (SBN)

4) I'm not a nervous flyer but...

I have a really bad habit of biting my nails. I bite my nails when I'm bored, upset, anxious, nervous, thoughtful, pondering, scared, focused, confused, distressed, jealous, plotting, planning, imagining, etc. I bite my nails all the time. People who know me tend to know what I'm feeling when they see me biting my nails. If I was biting them during class...bored...during finals...distressed (about finals or about Sporcle)...during a movie...could be a multitude of emotions. When I'm on a plane I'm usually biting my nails because I'm reading a book and am very engrossed or because I'm listening to my music and telling myself stories. However the person sitting next to me always thinks it's because I hate flying...and they always comment. I realize it's a pretty gross habit and when people call my attention to it I try to stop...but the thing is when people on planes think I'm biting my nails because I have a fear of man-made flight they try to ease my "fear" by telling me something they think is "scarier." I've had a guy tell me about the time his house was robbed and a lady tell me that what I should really be afraid of is the day I won't be able to fly anymore (still biting my nails over that one). Over six times I have been given that statistic (with varying numbers...1 in 100, 2 in 5) about how you're more likely to die in a car crash than in a plane crash...so I just wind up biting my nails on the drive home because I am legitimately concerned about my odds of arriving at my destination in one piece. All the same I appreciate these co-passangers of mine trying to ease my nerves...even if its mostly out of disgust of my nasty habit more so than genuine concern...and then as a sign of my appreciation...I offer them a section of the NYT.